The Party Of Thinkers, A Chronological Event
From The Archives (~2005)
THIS IS THE PARTY OF THINKERS: A CHRONOLOGICAL EVENT.
Derived from the magnificent text dictionaries of four thinkers, back when text dictionaries on your phone was a thing: A Theorist, A Logician, A Truth-Seeker and a Dreamer. (Tori, Simon, Charlie, and Row.)
Tori And The Glorious Dinner Party, 6pm–10pm
Whatcha gona eat doofus? Whacha gona munch?
There’s enuf lady, enuf for all.
Oodles of fajitas oodles of sweetcorn, coleslaw, korma
Mwah!
Whatcha gona munch, scrumptious munch?
The Bulgaria sarnies, the comfy bagel, the bb pesto on Yorkshire bolognaise, loveable coriander on turquoise lasagna hunchback?
Munch damn it, munch, whatcha gona munch O groovy frazzled Romeo?
We cater for everything; we’ve assembled gud baubles for thou art indeed hungry.
Whatcha wana scrabble for, there’s giggedy prawn lady, like I said O knackered Romeo,
Ive enuf, Ive even tidied eastenders crumpet pinballs tell me O what can ail thee? What canst thou munch!
A detox? A paracetamol detox? A paracetamol ibuprofen detox? You cannot be serious dear Romeo, a detox?
Muhaha, hahahahahahahahaha, teehee, HarHar, haha, HeeHee
Aagghh!
(Aside) Ooh, urgh, grr, wetherspoons, asda, tesco, boohoo. (Coughs) Ahem, excuse me!
iloveu alrite?
I wana munch, gona munch, theres enuf lady scrumptious munch. Oodles.
But Romeo isn’t hungry. So I guess, I guess in theory
I’ll kip, directionless.
I’ll kip, knackered
And Unenthusiastic.
The Simon Philosophy, 10pm–2am.
This shit rave. Its shit.
And Simon’s piss pissed placebo, it’s not working, obviously.
Before beer (an audible sigh) there must be these
Crap crappy cupid games
I’m Finnished…
I Fucking…
Fucking.
I Havent fucking finnished. Geez.
No! Let’s be convincing! Right now, I’m Totaly yay, totaly spacey, totaly …chump.
Hm. Instead, we’ll ponder this:
Absynth isnt jenga
Derbey isnt Leicester
Beer isnt Absynth
Abba isnt Cupid and
Man isnt you.
Yay. That is good. That means something for sure.
Fucking fucking
Piss pissed
With you Cupid
Yay. I’m
Fucking fucking
Crap crappy
Piss pissed
With you.
Charlie's Epiphany whilst leaving, 2am-6am
I'm leaving, and in leaving,
I thin.
This journey walking will finish me.
I'm inevitably, officially missing someone, but pissed sleeping, leaving morning, leaving evening, I'm travelling. I'm trying. I'm trying tescos, trying threshers, trying karaoke, trying Paddy, trying a virgin trying for someone. Everyones busy.
For hours, at asda queues that is, the journey walking, the travelling will finish.
I ask Bowie, I ask Baba Bracelet, I ask me, cheeky Charlie checking the couples; Eveyones fandabulous relationship,
Do I fit?
Do I fit monkey man?
I fit beautiful, I fit brilliant, ask Bowie ask the newspaper.
At last the journey walking might finish, the morning evening travelling might finish. At last everyones brilliant shit, munted pancakes
At last everyones fecking noser newspaper
Eveyones beautiful fandabulous kidney compliment couple
Might love
Me ...
Everyones kiss audition
Everyones refectory bummer blockbuster should at last
Love
Me ...
I fit.
The Drunken Arrogance of Row, 6am-10am
Although definatley drunk this morning,
Due to the perchancing of a supping sesh,
Having been roped into ridiculous Rileys stuff,
This. Grand. Read.
Will be chancing your topper.
Elvis,
Faulkner,
Frankenstein,
Othello and Shakespeare,
They're fired!
I've snacked on the fun, the baileys bombs the Robnobtheshit, And yes, it's already morning misses,
And yes, it's a slaggin site, a topper thang
And yes, I'm whatcha sheisse bomb, and I'm whatcha penisenvy,
But I'll be tidying the thang, the work,for you.
It's forwarded forwarded, it's better better blah, it's better blah blah blah, And even these ridiculous people:
(Alice,Antonio,Andy,Dave,Elly,Gabe,Harriot,Jimbles,Matt,Ryan,Suzi,Tim,) Already commented a hugeness thank you.
You see? Great. Ok. You understand?
Wait! THIS GRAND READ! Do you get it? Can you see it?
Man, I
Know I'm definatley drunk
Man, I
Know I'm definatley drunk this morning
But, this grand read,
It's Shakespeare.